and maybe for some other traditions too there is no religion in judaism when you are when you are raised religiously like orthodox or ultra orthodox that it is your life like it's it's not it's not like there's your life and then there's judaism yes yes it is your life um so and and that and that really happens i don't think one has the independence or cognitive capacity to really question that at all until until at least in early adolescence um and and i and it's it's not a bad thing i'm not saying that in a negative a pejorative way it was a very it was a very great childhood to grow up with the traditions and with the culture and with the the calendar and with you know the life cycle events it's really beautiful beautiful tradition uh which i still very heavily partake in i'm not speaking as if i'm some you know ex but what happens then when i think when one and in in in judaism at bar mitzvah 13 for for males and uh 12 for females there's a there's another like infusion of religious fervor and excitement you're on this like bar mitzvah high where like you're the mitzvah the jewish ritual commandments you do now begin to account for points like up until there was this practice and you're really riding on this high and particularly within the hasidic community you begin to get the language of torture which is jewish mysticism you begin to practice prayer as a form of religious experience and worship at least aspirationally so and it's a very it's a very strong period and and what happens for many what happened for me is as my own independence and my own cognitive abilities began to kick in you began to self-reflect and turn back on the mind and turn back into your practice be like one second why why am i doing all this why am i why am i putting on feeling why am i keeping question am i doing this because my community's doing it because my because my parents told me to and and i think i think that's a very natural period and and i think i never i never and some people in that period really go on a full swing re