em i'll have to maybe wait till i'm i feel ready for it but but there was through discovering this comparative form of mysticism and through finding the at least at that point before i you know got more critical about it reading cats and reading that whole school of scholarship finding what i assumed was a universal truth that pointed to something which which i could really believe in and something which was which which in many ways was so beautiful and which i felt to be not other than my tradition but the core of my tradition right um in a way that was that was vivifying and inspiring for me in a way that didn't need me to reject anyone else in that process and the universality of that a lot of people when they when they go into comparative religion it destroys their own faith for me i had just the opposite my faith was already being destroyed it was discovering the the comparative element right in in mysticism that allowed me to rebuild my faith both both rationally because i think there's very good logical argumentation for mysticism and i've developed that case and we discussed last time a little and i did a two-hour uh segment with justin sledge who's a a great phd in philosophy who has his own channel here um esoterica um where we've really gone to the nuts and bolts of that debate and i think that physically there's a very good case to make as you make as well um scientifically and cognitive psychologically as as you and others are making it there's a great case but more than that i think that there's a really good case to be made aesthetically there's a real beauty there's real there's real poetic justice and resonance to it and and speaking about justice i think there's also a real ethical uh vision that emerges from it which which i think is is really incomparable in its power and beauty so it's on those three legs really that i began to rebuild my faith in humanity in a new conception of the divine and and letting go of of your old conception of the divine to embrace a new one may be the most difficul