f how do we create space for the others in our life to to allow them to to come into dialogue with us because if we fill our own full spaces there is no room for for the other to be to be to to love to be in relation to create to express yeah that's that's that scheme han makes a converging argument in the agony of eros uh in his critique of pornography uh because he says eros actually requires um a true recognition of otherness that can challenge you in a way that you cannot foresee or against which you cannot finally protect yourself whereas in you know in pornography you have what he calls the aesthetic of the smooth where things are are regarded as beautiful precisely because they in no way present the challenge of otherness they in no way distract or disturb our self our self-recognition and our self-grasping i thought that was a profound critique and it and i i bring that up because it shows how you know uh i think you could make a very uh i think han is actually alluding to it because he's ultimately making an ontological point i know this because of the scent of time right his uh all right in other books but you know how what's i mean some people might be listening and say who cares about all this arcane stuff but the point is right if you don't have an explicit uh account of uh of of realness you're you are very much gonna have an implicit one and it's gonna cash out in things like what we're seeing and han's critique how we have we have lost uh the capacity for genuine eros and beauty uh precisely because we have we do not understand uh the necessity of uh uh of otherness in order for proper self-transcendence and property logos um etc so i i i just wanted to point that out and that that leads me to another thing because and i i this is not a complaint oh you want to intervene go ahead let me so before we move to another thing let me let me just jump in on something you said there which is um there's one author on mysticism i'm on this quest to as i said to read every really good thing that's been read