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Ad uxorem

IV

[1] Sed carnem legimus infirmam et hinc nobis adulamur impensius. Legimus tamen et spiritum firmum. Nam in uno sensu utrumque positum est. Caro terrena materia est, spiritus uero caelestis. Cur ergo ad excusationem proniores, quae in nobis infirma sunt opponimus, quae uero fortia non tuemur? Cur caelestibus terrena non cedant?

[2] Si spiritus carne fortior, quia et generosior, nostra culpa infirmiorem sectamur. Nam disiunctis a matrimonio duae species humanae imbecillitatis necessarias nuptias faciunt. Prima quidem et potentissima, quae uenit de concupiscentia carnis, sequens de concupiscentia saeculi. Sed utraque repudianda est a seruis Dei, qui et luxuriae et ambitioni renuntiamus.

[3] Carnis concupiscentia aetatis officia defendit, decoris messem requirit, gaudet de contumelia sua: dicit uirum necessarium sexui, uel auctoritatis et solatii causa, uel ut a malis rumoribus tuta sit. Et tu aduersus consilia haec eius adhibe sororum nostrarum exempla, quarum nomina penes Dominum, quae nullam formae uel aetatis occasionem, permissis maritis, sanctitati anteponunt.

[4] Malunt enim Deo nubere. Deo speciosae, Deo sunt puellae. Cum illo uiuunt, cum illo sermocinantur, illum diebus et noctibus tractant. Orationes suas uelut dotes Domino assignant, ab eodem dignationem uelut munera maritalia, quotienscumque desiderant, consequuntur. Sic aeternum sibi bonum, donum Domini, occupauerunt, ac iam in terris, non nubendo, de familia angelica deputantur.

[5] Talium exemplis feminarum ad aemulationem te continentiae exercens, spiritali affectione carnalem illam concupiscentiam humabis, temporalia et uolatica desideria formae uel aetatis immortalium bonorum compensatione delendo.

[6] Ceterum saecularis concupiscentia causas habet gloriam, cupiditatem, ambitionem, insufficientiam, per quas necessitatem nubendi subornat, uidelicet caelestia repromittens: dominari in aliena familia, alienis opibus incubare, cultum de alieno extorquere, sumptum quem non sentias, caedere.

[7] Haec procul a fidelibus, quibus nulla cura tolerandae uitae, nisi si diffidimus de promissis Dei, qui lilia agri tanta gratia uestit, qui uolatilia caeli nulla ipsorum labore pascit, qui prohibet de crastino uictu uestituque curare, spondens scire se quid cuique seruorum suorum opus sit, non quidem monilium pondera, non uestium taedia, non Gallicos mulos, nec Germanicos baiulos, quae nuptiarum gloriam accendunt, sed sufficientiam, quae modestiae et pudicitiae apta est.

[8] Praesume, oro te, nihil tibi opus esse, si Domino appareas, immo omnia habere, si habeas Dominum, cuius omnia. Caelestia recogita, et terrena despicies. Nihil uiduitati apud Deum subsignatae necessarium est quam perseuerare.

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To His Wife

Chapter IV.--Of the Infirmity of the Flesh, and Similar Pleas.

But we read "that the flesh is weak;" ¹ and hence we soothe ² ourselves in some cases. Yet we read, too, that "the spirit is strong;" ³ for each clause occurs in one and the same sentence. Flesh is an earthly, spirit a heavenly, material. Why, then, do we, too prone to self-excuse, put forward (in our defence) the weak part of us, but not look at ⁴ the strong? Why should not the earthly yield to the heavenly? If the spirit is stronger than the flesh, because it is withal of nobler origin, it is our own fault if we follow the weaker. Now there are two phases ⁵ of human weakness which make marriages ⁶ necessary to such as are disjoined from matrimony. The first and most powerful is that which arises from fleshly concupiscence; the second, from worldly concupiscence. But by us, who are servants of God, who renounce both voluptuousness and ambition, each is to be repudiated. Fleshly concupiscence claims the functions of adult age, craves after beauty's harvest, rejoices in its own shame, pleads the necessity of a husband to the female sex, as a source of authority and of comfort, or to render it safe from evil rumours. To meet these its counsels, do you apply the examples of sisters of ours whose names are with the Lord, ⁷ --who, when their husbands have preceded them (to glory), give to no opportunity of beauty or of age the precedence over holiness. They prefer to be wedded to God. To God their beauty, to God their youth (is dedicated). With Him they live; with Him they converse; Him they "handle" ⁸ by day and by night; to the Lord they assign their prayers as dowries; from Him, as oft as they desire it, they receive His approbation ⁹ as dotal gifts. Thus they have laid hold for themselves of an eternal gift of the Lord; and while on earth, by abstaining from marriage, are already counted as belonging to the angelic family. Training yourself to an emulation of (their) constancy by the examples of such women, you will by spiritual affection bury that fleshly concupiscence, in abolishing the temporal ¹⁰ and fleeting desires of beauty and youth by the compensating gain of immortal blessings.

On the other hand, this worldly concupiscence (to which I referred) has, as its causes, glory, cupidity, ambition, want of sufficiency; through which causes it trumps up the "necessity" for marrying,--promising itself, forsooth, heavenly things in return--to lord it, (namely,) in another's family; to roost ¹¹ on another's wealth; to extort splendour from another's store to lavish expenditure ¹² which you do not feel! Far be all this from believers, who have no care about maintenance, unless it be that we distrust the promises of God, and (His) care and providence, who clothes with such grace the lilies of the field; ¹³ who, without any labour on their part, feeds the fowls of the heaven; ¹⁴ who prohibits care to be taken about to-morrow's food and clothing, ¹⁵ promising that He knows what is needful for each of His servants--not indeed ponderous necklaces, not burdensome garments, not Gallic mules nor German bearers, which all add lustre to the glory of nuptials; but "sufficiency," ¹⁶ which is suitable to moderation and modesty. Presume, I pray you, that you have need of nothing if you "attend upon the Lord;" ¹⁷ nay, that you have all things, if you have the Lord, whose are all things. Think often ¹⁸ on things heavenly, and you will despise things earthly. To widowhood signed and sealed before the Lord nought is necessary but perseverance.